Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize