Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
