How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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