I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize