Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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