my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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