and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Dear god my vagina.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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