Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize