Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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