so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Duck Duck Cougar?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
