Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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