I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
ttyl tear gas
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize