My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
