Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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