Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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