but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize