I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
