I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
40s are totally the cure
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
