that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i would punch a child for taco bell
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
