she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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