we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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