these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
