Your face is a jimmy john
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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