I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we're making bets on your personal life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
