I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
