i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize