ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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