I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
