420 ftw
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I faked an abortion last night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
