Church boner. Awkwardddd
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
