put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
please come you make the beer taste better
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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