Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
In other news, I just burned my penis
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
