you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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