i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
