Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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