one might say we're banned from that church
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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