Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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