I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
