I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize