He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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