So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize