I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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