Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
