I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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