meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I love having hate sex.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
