Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize