Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
