hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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