There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
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I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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