My hair reeks of homosexuality.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
