ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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