If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
