when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
