You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
