Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
