end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
