Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
