Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
