i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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