you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
