She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
