"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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