Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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