This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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