I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
