hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
