Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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