Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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