Are we in a gay sports bar?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
